Ghosts On A Screen
Digital Shadows
Today I logged onto my Facebook account I first created about 15 years ago. Some college friends had Told me to check out a Page they were in but Being that the page was private, I said, “Fuck This!” and decided To log off. I went to hit the “Settings” tab in the corner to Log out but click “My Profile” Instead. Immediately I regret My decision. The banner atop my page was Just the word, “Relax” with a Joint burning next to it (I Created this page in middle School and Wiz Khalifa was My favorite rapper.) Of course, for the warm sake of Nostalgia I decide to scroll down. The first post on my Profile is my late Tia Maria who lived with Us about 10 years ago. She, Had wished me a happy birthday. Told me She told me may god bless me And that I would have a good birthday. Four years in a row. With no Reply. I hadn’t talked to her in so long i never got to tell her how thankful i am before she got hit by a car. I wanted to scream. Loud enough so that she can hear me From where she's at. So I can beg her Her for another warm plate of enfrijoladas and Hear her high-pitched, scratchy voice, and how I missher hotdogs that were served with some of her own spicy red ginger hairs (They added a kick) I want to tell her how much I admire her For hitching a ride to go the tram for a multiple hour Ride into LA every single weekend just to visit some Family. At 5’1 and traveling alone, didn’t know English But her mission was made every week and she’d Return to bless us with her good nature. She was little but robust, always cleaning, Cooking, or checking in on my sister to make Sure she was in good mind. When she would decide to Chill on her phone, she would sit in the kitchen in case Anybody would walk by with the smell of hunger on them So she could fix them a plate. I still think about you Tia, about how you saw me Grow into a little shit. I remember jumping off the Roof in an attempt to sneak out on you, but landing On my dogs water bowl and running off because I knew You had noticed. I still think about your son Victor and how Crazy I thought he was for buying me some Skullcandy headphones for my birthday. I couldn’t understand why Someone would gift something to someone They had barely met. I revisited all these tiny, daily interactions Between Her and i from the comfort of my Own office chair. My tia Maria. She had passed away a couple years now. She is now, just a ghost on my screen. Of course, I was sobbing all over my keyboard. (In a manly way. Of course.) Someday I'll be free of you. I will forget most if not All the details of our little interactions Tia. But I know I will never forget the joy you make me feel. What Seemed like such a small moment in a day, I now see as a building block of my childhood And I’m thankful it was you. Someday, I'll be a ghost on a screen. A Cousin will click my page or see an old photo Of them posing next to me. All I ever hope for Is that my ghost brings a smile to that face Just like you did to me, My Tia Maria.
By DamnDam