"My dad is A Racist."
and so are you.
Happy Juneteenth Everyone.
As I was writing this I went and looked up the history of one of America’s oldest holidays. Although it first was celebrated somewhere in 1865 Texas, a couple years after the Emancipation was signed, it also recognizes a group of Seminoles (Africans) who escaped America and found asylum in Mexico in 1855. Now I’m sure if I go to TikTok I will get a different and more in-depth history of Juneteenth by a fashionably-dressed narrator, but that’s what makes days like today great! It presents opportunities for talks like that to be had so bridges of understanding can be formed.
NOW! Here’s a shameful testament to my young ignorance. A memory which sits hazily in my memory, and which is fitting considering today’s holiday. Clearly from the title you can infer I’m going to be talking about race. There’s something to learn here I think. Maybe it’s not my place to inject my opinion on a day like today and maybe I should shut off my stupid brain but hey, I’m just trying to reach out. Just tryna borrow a little friction. Hope you’re in the mood for some cringe.
I was sitting in a car with a close friend, and as I said, the time which this happened sits hazily in my memories. I’m not sure if it’s because of the lifestyle I was living or because I would prefer not hold onto it. I don’t remember what the context of the conversation was but I looked my friend in the eyes and said it, “My dad is racist towards black people.” I was expecting fireworks and the Red Sea to divide, he stares at me blankly.
I thought I was doing the “right thing.” Outing a racist to my closest friend at the time, a Nigerian immigrant who I attached myself to when I was an intensely introverted new kid in town.
But why was I so quick to stab my dad in the back? The truth of the matter was I was mad at my father and placed both my and his prejudices inside of him so I didn’t have to do any retrospection/introspection. I spent all my days looking for a reason to be upset at him. I have heard my father say some terrible shit, as I’m sure most men have. I have never seen him act on any kind of prejudice. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t make stupid jokes behind people’s backs but guess what? So does the majority of everyone else, especially those raised without the internet. My father was raised on his family’s ranch in Mexico. The chance of him interacting with someone of a different creed is very low over there. He had no experience dealing with people different from him. He joined the US Army when crossing back over, literally training with weapons that kill along men of all backgrounds. A lot more trust is required between guys who have guns than kids like me crying on social media. This was about the time people were posting black screens on their socials to, “show solidarity.” I made a drawing of Tamir Rice and posted.
I thought I’d be making my friend happy if he knew I’d be willing to turn on my own father to show “I’m on his side." Such a pick-me move. I really looked up to this kid. He knew all the girls, dressed nice, kept a solid K/O on Call of Duty. If he was a shark I was one of those little fishes that eats the bacteria off his fins. I confided in him, thinking this would bring him relief somehow? To know that the father of his own close friend had prejudice against him? What makes me think he wants to hear my position about his race in the first place? When I think about it now I think the only person I was trying to please was myself.
As soon as I left the car I had an uneasy feeling about the talk but I could never really understand how he felt or the situation he was in. I had no insight on the history of peoples or the cultural significance of social circles. However the tides always seem to turn and life has a way of placing your own hubris right in front of you. In 2026 America ICE has become a central topic of political strife and with it, comes the hoards of opinions nobody really asked for. Whenever someone starts talking about the issues my people are facing now, I really don’t care to hear it. As a matter of fact, unless you come of similar background I don’t want to hear any of the grief you’re going through or any anger you have towards the people legislating it.
The first time somebody talked to me about how the Trump administration treats Mexicans to me I immediately thought of my friend in the car and how embarrassingly white I can be sometimes. I thought about the time I was an art teacher and how I noticed most of my Afro-American pupils had the largest, most developed personalities. I thought about my friend who emigrated from Nigeria as a young boy and how although he was the youngest in our friend group, he always was the most informed and confident. I thought about how we weren’t as close anymore and how much I wanted to apologize then I realized I’d be putting him the same situation again hahah (White as fuck.)
Since then I’ve done a lot of research, a lot of listening and less speaking. Biggest lesson of all has been to just love thy neighbor. As much as I avoid celebrity opinion there is a quote by Morgan Freeman when asked about how to end racism, “Stop talking about it. I am going to stop calling you a white man, and I'm going to ask you to stop calling me a black man.” As crazy as it sounds it would be that easy. Now you and I know humans aren’t that simple and perhaps the world will never fully get there, but you can.