Patience

a conversation

"What can I do for you? 
What? Will it take...?
My intentions were to make not break!"
Take a step back!
Let me breathe
The only 1 who gets me is ME!
"How did this happen?"
Now i just fall on the phone
i was safer alone.
"That just can't be true."
Safest when i had no home.

"You took hold of the bull.
Enticed by the red hue
Point and you can bury anything.
But you aimed it
Towards you."

No one can hurt me
Heart-shaped scar tissue
i've been eavesdropping. The blue 
Flame burns hottest and im
Feeling more blue and blew.

When isolation is found so readily, 
Why do i want to run away?
Why spread love when i can 
Stick it in my vein.
See everybody's trying to profit so they
Target our brain,
Feed us some garbage and hide behind 
some disneyland name.
These non-profits caught profiting off 
Good people's shame
Even the news don't tell the news
Just who to blame
Folks are "I'm blue" and "I'm red"
Same shit, different name.
While COVID took my Nana but its
Cool, had a mask to hide the pain
Social-distance grief. Mom's coughing
No mask, I'm so ashamed. 
Try to hold onto your family values
Today they'll look at you insane.

So what can you do? 
Help me, acknowledge my pain.
What i once saw as, 
"Just feel a lil' fucked up"
i now realize is my brain.
Don't let me go. 
Don't squeeze me too tight.
Give me hope and time,
i'll be aright.